


Scareqrow (or: Halloween in Atlas)

by Dreamy_Darling



Category: RWBY
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comedy, Crack, Crack Fic, Cute, Drabble, Halloween Costumes, Happy Halloween, M/M, Pumpkins, Two dorks are kinda sorta in love but they don't know it yet, Winter knows what's up, a joke about implied sex, halloween party, i guess?, just two dudes being guys wearing matching halloween costumes, silly halloween fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27291898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamy_Darling/pseuds/Dreamy_Darling
Summary: Clover and Qrow have the adorable decision to wear matching costumes for Halloween. But as usual, something has to go wrong.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 31





	Scareqrow (or: Halloween in Atlas)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by a lovely piece of art by THUBAN which I'll link to at the bottom of the fic!  
> This was just a cute silly way for me to enjoy Halloween, so I hope it makes you laugh!  
> Happy Halloween~!

The costumes were gone. The candy was consumed. And Ironwood was in enough of a good mood to give everyone the day off.

Halloween wasn’t really something Atlas celebrated officially, so when Qrow had explained to Clover what the fuss was all about, he found himself feeling disappointed with how many years of it he must have missed. It seemed like incredible fun, and nearly all the children were buzzing with excitement. And as it was Ruby’s birthday, that only heightened the enthusiasm everyone had. They were not only scrambling to find or make scary outfits, but also trying their hardest to hide and prepare their gifts for the girl.

Clover had found it all very endearing, and when he awoke the morning after the delightfully “spooky” party, the smell of artificial sweets and hot chocolate still lingered in the air of the mess hall.

Nora was leaning on Ren with her face a solid shade of green, clearly regretting the mountain of candy she was still struggling to digest. Despite only having a fraction of what Nora had gulped down, Jaune was leaning on Ren’s other shoulder with an even greener face. Ren just wanted to drink his tea in peace, and was gently encouraging his team mates to swallow down some herbal concoction he’d made them. It was green and slimy, matching Nora’s face quite well, with a dark brown foam forming on the rim of the glasses.

“I don’t care if you say it helps,” she slurred, trying not to gag, “if it looks the same coming up as it does going down, it can’t be good.”

“Please don’t talk about puking right now...” Jaune curled up into a ball.

Clover chuckled to himself as he passed the miserable group, and poured himself a coffee. Ruby was in the corner still eating the remains of her pumpkin-shaped birthday cake, one Oscar and Penny had taken great efforts to make (truthfully, they’d failed miserably after Penny had downloaded the wrong recipe and had rushed to Mantle to buy one from a bakery, but it was the thought that counted).

But as he looked around the hall, he noticed someone was missing from the group.

“Has anyone seen Qrow?” He approached the belated birthday girl, who looked up in surprise. She clearly wasn’t expecting a sudden question, as her cheeks were round with cake and her lips were coated with orange icing.

“I saw Huntsman Branwen early this morning near the staff room,” Penny offered helpfully, before scratching her head, “I think he may have been looking for you, but he seemed hesitant to be around anyone. I liked his outfit.”

Clover raised an eyebrow in mild alarm, but thanked her anyway and set off. What would Qrow want with him?

It didn’t take him too long to find out. He had indeed found Qrow by the staff room... still in his Halloween costume.

Him and Clover had decided (Clover had insisted and pleaded) to have matching costumes – which was basically just two pumpkin heads, made from a bright orange plastic and lined on the inside with an itchy black fabric. The heads were cheap, and the edges were cut sharply as a result, but thankfully he hadn’t had to wear it very long.

But why was Qrow still wearing his?

He must really love Halloween.

“You know...” Clover began, offering Qrow a smile, “it’s November 1st now. You can take the pumpkin head off.”

Qrow turned slowly to Clover, the plastic pumpkin mask allowing not a smidge of expression to shine through. The eyes and mouth were blacked out with dark fabric, and the florescent orange plastic was so bright it was getting to be a little hard to look at. While Clover’s pumpkin mask last night had been a goofy smile, Qrow’s was carved into a wretched grimace with spiky teeth, truly bringing the Halloween spirit to life.

Qrow said nothing.

Clover chuckled nervously, tapping the side of the mask. “Hello? It’s time to wake up, birdie – oop!”

Qrow grabbed his wrist and dragged him into a supply closet, slamming the door shut. They stood in the dark as Qrow jabbed his finger into Clover’s chest over and over. “This is your fault! I didn’t even wanna wear the damn thing!”

“What – what are you talking about?!” Clover smacked Qrow’s hand away. What had he done?

“Oh I’m sorry. Did you think I came down this morning still wearing this stupid thing because I wanted to?!”

Clover turned away for just a moment to switch on the light. “What? You can’t...? You...?”

“I can’t get it off.” Qrow growled, before the anger drained out of him to leave only embarrassment. “It’s stuck.”

Clover tried. He really, really tried not to laugh. He bit down on his bottom lip and clenched his fists, but the eruption of giggles just burst from him with no hope to contain any of it. And he knew it would piss Qrow off to no end but he couldn’t help it. He laughed and laughed until he was wheezing and doubling over, until he was _honking_.

“THIS ISN’T FUNNY, YOU BRAT!”

“I know -! I know, I’m sorry!” But Clover still kept laughing, leaning on the wall to support himself. “Have you been wearing it all day?!”

“And all night! I had to run away from Nora because she kept trying to hit it off with her _hammer_!”

One would think that with how much the laughing and honking hurt Clover’s stomach, it would stop being funny. Apparently not.

Qrow crossed his arms and went for the door. “Well you obviously aren’t going to help me -!”

“Wait, wait! I’m sorry!” Clover grabbed Qrow’s shoulder, trying to force himself to stop laughing by taking long strained breaths.

Qrow grumbled miserably under the mask. “This is just my luck...”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry – have you been able to eat or anything?” Clover still kept a hand on his stomach, sensitive and cramping now from the laughter.

“Take a wild fucking guess, lucky charm.” Qrow seethed.

“Alright, alright, uh – have you tried getting it taken off in the infirmary?”

“Do you not think I’ve had enough embarrassment for one day?! I’m not waltzing down in broad daylight with a damn pumpkin on my head!”

“Why, you don’t want the cute nurses to laugh at you?” Clover smirked, putting his hands on his hips.

“Just – shut up, okay? You made me put this damn thing on so it’s your responsibility to help me get off!”

“Get _it_ off, you mean?”

“Get _the pumpkin_ off! Off my head! _Whatever_!”

“Okay, just stop squawking about it.” Clover chuckled, and gripped the sides of the pumpkin mask. “Hold still...”

\---

Winter had a feeling the children would get out of hand at the party. It was what they were known for, but regardless, she had grown fond of the troublemakers Weiss had befriended. She’d even started to find Qrow marginally less irritating. As she marched down the halls on her way to the elevator, she could only ponder the hardships they had all been through, the tragedies and triumphs that bonded the group.

She allowed herself a little smile as she watched the decorations being pulled down from the walls. Ribbons of orange and purple had been pinned up, adding a splash of colour rarely seen within the walls of the Academy. Black and green tinsel choked the pillars and windows, but she found she liked the sight. She didn’t have much of a sweet tooth, though, and had began to find it most annoying when she kept being stopped and overloaded with candy from several of the newly-assigned Huntsmen and Huntresses – Winter considered herself lucky she was able to give it all to Marrow and Elm, who were more than happy to receive.

She never really got to go trick-or-treating as a child. Neither had her siblings. So she couldn’t fault Weiss or the others for their enthusiasm. But it served as a cold reminder that most of this misfit group, tasked with saving the world, were indeed still children on some level. She should have anticipated that.

One thing Winter hadn’t anticipated, however, was how fond Captain Ebi would become of the group. And of that annoyingly snarky Huntsman.

She had never brought it up, mostly because it was none of her business, but she found she didn’t have to. Clover would talk and chatter about Qrow and the children of his own volition. It was... almost sweet, seeing the man so excited, so happy. It was easy to get along with him anyway, thanks to his un-Atlesian friendly nature, but now it seemed he actually had a friend to properly bond with in a non-professional manner. She was happy for him, despite his choice in men being... not comparable to her own.

But it was as she strode down the halls, making her way to a more secluded section of the building where the closest elevators were situated, that she heard a noise.

A groan.

A grunt.

A curse word dragged out from panting lips.

She raised an eyebrow, glanced in the direction of the elevators, and sighed as she resigned herself to following the sound.

“ _Aah_ – _ow_ , that hurt!” She knew that voice. Qrow.

“Just try to stay still,” Clover’s reply soon followed after, sounding just as breathless, “I can’t get to it if you keep moving.”

“You’re making it hard to stay still, boy scout! _Ack_ – don’t _twist_ it!”

“I’m – _ow_ – trying to get the right angle!”

Winter’s blood ran cold. Slowly, she crept towards the supply closet; the door was firmly shut but that was nowhere near enough to block out the sounds of panting, grunting, moving. She took extra care not to let her heels click-clack against the solid floor, as anger bubbled up in her stomach. _Captain Ebi_ of all people - !

“Fucking – I can’t! I can’t - !” Qrow shouted.

“It’s nearly there!”

“I _can’t_!”

A few moments of stillness passed, and Winter held her breath.

“Maybe...” Clover said softly, “maybe I should get General Ironwood to finish you off.”

“WHAT IN _HIGH HELL_ ARE YOU TWO - ?!” She booted the door open, startling both the men and steeling herself for any bizarre or lewd scenario destined to haunt her dreams.

Instead, there was Clover with his hands on Qrow’s shoulders, and Qrow with a dented pumpkin mask stuck to his head, with only his nose and mouth exposed. There were red lines running across his face from the plastic of the mask, one cutting deep enough to just about cause bleeding, sparks of red Aura flickering around his stubble. They were both miraculously fully-clothed.

She blinked. Clover blinked back. She snarled.

“Explain to me what is going on here.” She narrowed her eyes.

“Isn’t it pretty fucking obvious, ice queen?” Qrow pointed miserably to his head.

Winter shoved Qrow against the wall, her foot firmly on his stomach to pin him, before she wrenched off the pumpkin mask and chucked it to the floor. Qrow yelped in pain and Clover jumped back to avoid being struck with the offending orange item. Then, stepping back and regaining her posture, Winter put her hands behind her back and straightened herself up.

“Let me make this as.... mono-syllabic as possible,” she glared at them both, before softening just a pinch and allowing a hint of a smile to shine through, “you are, by far, the biggest pair of idiots I have ever had the punishment of knowing.”

“Thanks, Winter.” Clover chuckled.

“Uh, yeah... ditto.” Qrow rubbed his reddened face.

Winter rolled her eyes and simply left the idiots to it. “Happy belated Halloween.”

With an air of awkwardness, the two men left the supply cupboard and watched Winter disappear down the hall. Qrow groaned and kept his hands on his face protectively, trying not to press too hard on the lines carved into his skin from the plastic.

Clover smiled apologetically. “You okay?”

“Yeah... yeah, nothing my Aura can’t fix.” Then, Qrow raised his head, and looked to Clover. “Wait... wait.”

“What is it?”

“...I could have just... Oh for fuck’s sake!”

“What? What’s wrong?” Clover raised an eyebrow as Qrow ran back into the cupboard and booted the poor pumpkin head.

“I can turn into a bird! I CAN TURN INTO A BIRD!” He gestured to the pumpkin wildly, his eyes could have glowed with the fury in them. “I COULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT BY MYSELF!”

Clover looked at Qrow, the at the pumpkin, and smiled a smile that towed the line between sly and sheepish. “I was going to suggest that...”

“And you didn’t?! Why?! Why would you let me suffer?!” Qrow was red in the face and it wasn’t from the pumpkin anymore.

“Well...” He stammered, scratching the back of his neck and laughing apologetically, “I suppose I kind of got the wrong idea when you dragged me into the supply closet...”

Qrow blinked, and an energy hung in the air between them.

Clover smiled again, giving a little wink. “I guess you could say I thought I was going to get lucky - ?”

Qrow threw the pumpkin at Clover, the plastic slamming into his chest hard enough to knock him back a few paces. “YOU ARE THE WORST!”

“Hey - !” Clover clutched the pumpkin as though it were a shield.

“YOU LET ME SUFFER LIKE AN IDIOT - !”

“I just - !”

“YOU ARROGANT PIECE OF - !”

“Qrow...!”

Penny and Ruby peered around the corner, watching the pair. Ruby wiped the sprinkles off her mouth and sighed.

Penny glanced at her friend, making an obvious hand gesture to the two Huntsmen. “Would this be an appropriate time to call for help?”

Ruby winced as a string of colourful words erupted from her uncle. “Nah. They’ll hug it out.”

“I... do not think they are emotionally stable enough to be hugging yet.” Penny looked worried, but Ruby just steered her away.

“Trust me, it’s better to just leave them to it.” And so the little Huntresses left the two men to argue in the hallway for all the staff to hear.

For the most part, Halloween in Atlas had been a success that year. But Clover had made the silent decision not to ask Qrow to dress up again.

\---

https://twitter.com/scorpion_8864/status/1313091105181716480


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